Sliding

Life has been very trying recently. I have been very good at keeping the stress hidden from others (except my spouse and a few close friends.) Through prayer I have realized that God is testing and strengthening me. I know God routinely tests us throughout our lives, and I feel like I am have been living in a perpetual final exam. My trials began in November and have continued, although I feel that the end of the final exam is ending. Throughout it all, I have had comfort knowing there is a purpose and reason for these difficult times. They will make the difficult times up ahead seem like pop quizzes.

God made it clear to me two weeks ago that He is there for me and guiding me. It was a Thursday night after an awful week. I should have been at home with the kids since Matt was going out that evening. Instead, I was at work on-call. The weather was awful, a spring time snow storm. I wasn't able to leave work until close to 10. The roads were bad, but thankfully not many cars out. I was driving carefully, but suddenly the car tires left the road. For those of you who don't know AK driving, the wear of the cars on the road in the winter causes tire tracks in the road. You can be driving great, and then catch an edge of the tire tracks and suddenly you are not in control anymore.

I look in the direction I am sliding and realize that I am heading straight for one of the four SUV's on the side of the road. I began praying with all my might not to hit the SUV as I am definitely not in control. I didn't even care if I, too, ended up in the snowbank on the side of the road, as long as I didn't hit the SUV. The 5 million minutes it took for this experience to end was the longest breath I have ever taken. (It was really only 3 seconds, but seemed like 5 million minutes!) I continued to slide, fortunately not spin. The next thing I know, the back end of the car fishtailed, then stopped. I ended up on the shoulder of the road, facing in the correct location, not having done a 360, and most definitely missed the SUV.

I was almost crying at disbelief, awe, adrenaline, and relief. The I realized that God is most definitely there with me through it all. It took a horrible incident to remind me that I am not alone even when I feel that way. This experience was the best thing that has happened to me in months. I realized that I have been sliding the past few months, out of control, but guided by God for his purpose. That purpose was not clear to me until I slid off the road. I told Matt the next day that I felt so happy because God's presence and work in our lives, even the hard times.

To make me even more thankful, when I had to go back to the hospital at 2 am, there was a car in the exact same spot that I had spun out. Except this car was in the ditch and on it's side. Wow! Again, so thankful!